Miss Post would be proud...

Shower Basics:


Who hosts?

Quite a few factors should be considered when deciding this, and of course, the bride-to-be's situation should be your ultimate guide. In any situation, if you would like to host, you should make your offer to the bride to host, and politely act according to her wishes. Close family friends make fantastic hosts, and usually have few other responsibilities for the wedding, so they are able to dedicate time to the effort. If you are the Maid of Honor, you are most likely either a relative or a best friend. In either case, you should offer to host a shower for the bride as long as you have the financial means. As the Maid of Honor, it is your responsibility to ensure that someone has offered to host the shower. Bridesmaids too-- confirm with the Bride that someone has offered. If she says no, respond with "I would love to host one for you!" (If you feel that your income, schedule, or circumstances do not allow you to host, suggest to the other bridesmaids a joint-hosted shower.) Traditionally, immediate family does not host the shower, though in recent years, I have been to many lovely showers hosted by a sister of the bride.


When should I throw this shindig?

Typically, showers occur anywhere from a few weeks to a few months before the wedding. Work with the bride to find a date that works within her work and planning schedule. The bride may have other showers (such as office showers), so ensure that both the date and location are convenient for her.


Should I send invites?

Yes, and I struggle to think of a situation where the answer is no. Even when you know the guests very well, you should send REAL invitations. The only clear exception to this is for office showers: Hard-copy invites are still acceptable, but they are not required.


Should the shower have a theme?

Totally up to you and the bride. If you have a theme, make sure you discuss with the bride in advance to make sure she is comfortable with your idea. Themes showers can be a blast: keep your eyes peeled, as The Fairy Bridesmaid will share some soon!


So, I've never hosted a shower before. What's the drill?

This depends a great deal on how formal your shower will be, what time of day it is, and also, if there is a theme. However, drinks are usually served as guests arrive, followed by a meal (usually brunch or lunch), and then the opening of gifts. If you insist on playing embarrassing shower games, you may carry on either before or after the meal.


I've heard of a lot of co-ed showers recently. Thoughts?

Co-ed showers can be a blast! They prove a fantastic option in situations where more than one shower is being held for the bride. It also gives the bride a chance to introduce the groom to close friends and family that have not yet met him (and vice-versa). As with girly showers, only very close friends should be included on the guest list. I recommend a daytime barbecue or an evening fiesta for the co-ed crowds. I shouldn't have to say this, but make sure the bride wants a co-ed shower before inviting the groom's entire rugby team over for margaritas!



POOF!